Sometimes I feel like the fat kid in gym class...

and I WAS the fat kid in gym class that never got chosen... so I know what I'm talking about!
As a 'baby dramatic soprano' (as my friend and I call me), or a spinto at this point, if you prefer, I often feel like the 'fat kid in gym class'. While all of your other friends are getting chosen and picked, you have to sit back and wait... wait for someone to call on you... as a baby dramatic, this can take years and you feel like you are falling behind the crowd. Even though, in reality, you are the one with the voice that will fill the Met Opera... when all of your other friends get summer gigs and have paying roles in choruses, etc, this truth seems to evade your mind...
I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of blessings that God has thrown onto me in the past month. And when I say thrown, I mean thrown. It has not been an easy journey. There has been much stress and worry... and then I finally hear God, though He's been telling me this all along... don't worry. I have this. I finally started to put my faith and trust in God... something that is difficult for me, as with everyone, to do. And yet... the outcome has been tremendous. Even now... I have to be out of my place by July 1st. A friend recently asked me to live with her and I have said yes. We are hoping and praying to get a spot in her building and are going to wait it out until a spot becomes available. We thought we had a place there on Saturday but 2 hours before we were going to see it, the woman called to tell us it had been taken. Talk about sudden stress. Ok Lord... I'm going to be homeless for the month of July at least... now what do I do? Sunday, I come home from church. Feeling a little less stressed out, trusting Him. I had prayed that morning "You have brought me through so much, why would I not trust You with my life now?" All this past year, I have been auditioning for summer programs. But no one has taken me. I knew that I had been wait listed for the one program in Italy that I had auditioned for, but I had written it off. Only 6 singers are chosen. Why in the world would I get in? I'm a baby dramatic. Like I said, no one wants to work with me yet. My audition tape was not great. I have grown in leaps and bounds since I sent it. Why would they want me? All along I have kept telling myself 'I just need one person to believe in me... that's the start of it... one person to give me a chance'. Sunday afternoon, I received my chance. I opened my e-mail and to my shock and amazement, it read "Congratulations! Someone has dropped out and you were the next in line! Welcome to the Casalmaggiore International Summer Festival In Italy!" and i'm like.... ummm... i'm sorry!?
The whole time I had been thinking... God, where do I live for the month of July? His answer: Italy. Surprise! Suddenly, friends started stepping up to bat. My dear friend and his sister are allowing me and my cat to live with them the few days that I will be here in July, and she has even offered me her room and she will make alternate arrangements. Java is free to stay there while I am gone. And Lord willing my new roommate and I will have a place for August. Tonight at my other good friends house, her lovely mom tells me that I can store all of my stuff in their garage and basement, free of charge for the month of July. No problems, and they will even help me move it all. WHAT!? God just keeps taking care of me... The summer program is amazing and all of these people are coming out of the wood works to just continually bless me...
I know that when you trust and have faith, the journey isn't always going to be easy. But take it from me... if you can learn to trust in God and have faith throughout the difficult times, to keep your eyes on Him and praise Him in the midst... the troubles just don't seem that bad anymore. I know I will falter in this. I realize this won't always seem so easy. Even throughout this, it hasn't been an easy road and I have faltered... but I've kept going, I've kept choosing to trust, which honestly, is all that I can do. And like always, He did not do what I thought He would. But He blessed me in even greater ways. I am no longer the fat kid in gym class. I have my start. What a fantastic start it will be :o) Thank You Lord!
Blessings and love
Deena