Good friends and ice cube trays

I'm reading the book Julie & Julia by Julie Powell. I asked for the book for Christmas and we just happened to watch the movie this Christmas as well (fantastic movie). I finished another book that I had been gnawing on forever, and the day after watching the movie, I started the book. It's a great book... if you can over look JP's major use of a certain word that starts with F and her random comments about sex. Which I find slightly intriguing to say the least, because she is able to be talking about cannibalism or bone marrow and then BAM. Sex. Awkward. If you are able to get past these parts, and I am barely able to do so, it is a good book. I think the thing that keeps me going with it is her writing style. I think that it is brilliant. I digress. She talks about blogging, because, if you know the story at all, she decides to cook through Julia Child's first cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and blog about it all, through an entire year. She makes a comment about how many things in our lives are mundane and ordinary. But it seems that if you write it down somewhere, someone, sometime, will come along and read it, no matter how boring. Someone will be interested. We all blog to seem more important. Suddenly our mundane lives become important, have some sort of false value. I found this interesting. Am I just convincing myself that I am blogging for therapeutic reasons? Am I really just searching for a sense of belonging, a feeling of importance? Either way... the saga continues. In other news...
It was a beautiful day out today. Though much colder than it looked, as Mom and I found out when we bundled up to go for a walk and turned back to the house at the end of our back alley way. Cold. I went for supper with my high school best friend tonight. It was great to see her. We're not the best at keeping in touch, but she's one of these people that I know will always be in my life. You know those people? I think they are important. She will be one of the first people I call when I get engaged. When I get an opera gig. If/when (ack) I find out I'm pregnant. Though we don't chat often, she has been there for me through many trials, including thousands of those mild emergencies that one goes through during high school. (Oh my gosh, HE DOESN'T LIKE ME!??! what am I going to do!? My life is over..... wait. I'm still in that mindset. Goodness) If you've read the previous blog, I mentioned those people in my life that I have treated like crap and yet are still around... she is one of these people. I have pushed her away. We've had our spats (always my fault). Yet she's stood by me. The memories that we have together are irreplaceable. I truly cherish this dear friend and am so thankful to have her in my life. I used to sing in the Kwanis Music Festival every year. Every time I would perform, she would give me a note before I left, cheering me on, encouraging me, telling me to 'just breathe'. Sometimes she would even come with me to silently cheer me on, beside my Mom, in the pews of the tiny church that we would sing in. I find that now, as I do my auditions for summer programs, operas, masters degrees, every time I wish I had one of these notes. But each time, I hear in my head, her telling me to 'just breathe'. And I do. And it works. Certain friends come and go in your life. They are there for certain chapters and then slowly vanish, through no ones fault. This is just what happens. Some of these friends are priceless. This is one of the priceless friends. I'm grateful that she hasn't given up on me, in spite of all of my faults. When we find friends like this, we need to hold on to them. They are truly priceless. Once you lose one, it can sometimes be impossible to fill that void.
In other news...
When I got into bed tonight, I saw something that made me think... when is it time (or do we have to?) to give up things that ex's have given you? Due to the odd shape of my room and the placement of hot air vents, my bed is a few feet from one wall, slightly in the middle of my room. This space between my bed and wall holds my night stand, but also has become a bit of a dumping ground for things that I want to hold on to, but don't know what to do with. In my third year of college, I was seeing this guy. He helped me move into a flat that I was going to be staying in over the summer, and in helping with this move, he gave me a few things. A bowl, cup, etc... among the things that he gave me (bless his heart) were 2 blue ice cube trays. Because apparently everyone loves ice. These trays somehow have made it to the landfill between my bed and wall. There they have sat... for 3 years at least... not having moved once. Still in their original see through plastic wrap... what do I do with these? I've used the bowl and mug and am able to use these without thinking of this guy anymore. But these trays... every time I look at them, I think of him. AWKWARD. This guy and I no longer talk. Correction. I no longer talk to him. He still tries to talk to me. But he is married and kind of creepy and I'm not having it. I digress yet again. So... what do we do with this stuff? Another guy I know and maybe went on two dates with... gave me a little stuffed animal. I realized today, to my dismay, that this little bear is with me in Toronto, proudly standing on one of my shelves (propping up books to keep them from falling), yet this guy and I are long since over, he is also married and they are expecting a baby. Is this weird? Is it weird to hold on to these things? Out of all of the ex's that I have (don't worry, the list isn't THAT long), there are maybe 2 that I still harbor any feelings from, neither of which really gave me much, both of whom have long moved on. I have moved on as well, but I still have that little twinge in my heart when I think of them, you know? Anyways... I guess I wrote all of that to say... is it weird/ok/indifferent and whatever, to hold on to these things when I hold no real emotional attachment to them? (and does anyone want/need plastic blue, never been used, still in the original package, ice cube trays?)
Night and blessings
Deena